Warning: Dangerous Topic Here! Not for the Faint of Heart

Warning: Dangerous Topic Here! Not for the Faint of Heart

You probably don’t want to read this… Ok, you’ve been warned. You’re still here? Well, today I want to talk about death. For most of us, this is not a “cool” topic. I’ve  been thinking a lot about death lately, and here’s the reason. One of my best friend’s mother passed away this week. She was 86 and she had a great life. She was one of the most generous souls I’ve ever known. I knew her from my spiritual community here in NJ. She was small but feisty; sweet but had a tough bark when she got mad. Mostly she was kind, loving, and supportive. She’d lost one grown son and an infant baby in crib death. She’d been through a divorce. She had another son who survived and she’d adopted a girl when she thought that she couldn’t have any more children. She’d had some ups and downs, but she kept going. She was very active in her community and with her grandkids. I’d ask her how she was doing and some days she’d say:” Horrible! All my friends have died, my body hurts, and I can’t breathe. Then she’d say: But I’m still here and I’m still kicking. She told it like it was. And we loved her for it. I didn’t realize how many other people she’d helped until she passed this week. The entire 60 minute meeting on Tuesday, the day after she’d gone, was filled with funny, loving stories about her and how she’d helped so and so and so and so. She lived her life out loud, imperfectly, but from a loving place. We’re...

Bob Newhart…. This Could Go Anywhere

So, you may not know of Bob Newhart. He was a brilliant comedian and had a hit TV show a while ago, called The Bob Newhart Show. He played a psychiatrist and hilarity ensued.  There’s a famous scene where a patient comes to him to get help on this obsessive fear that’s taken over her life. I don’t want to spoil it for you so here’s the clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw Ok, so he’s a bit harsh and it’s comedy, but at the same time, I feel like there’s a lot of truth to that. I work with speakers, authors and coaches to help them feel comfortable on camera and on the stage.And they are doing amazing work with their clients. And they are human, so they have their own “stuff” too. We all do. We all have blocks we’re working on to let go of. And here’s the thing, it’s really hard to put yourself and your work out into the world if you’re beating yourself up all the time in your head. It’s a contradiction. So I invite you, instead to catch yourself when you’re being self critical and say: “Stop it,” like Bob Newhart. And I challenge you instead to focus on your purpose, and who you want to help. Focus on your big WHY. It’s a lot more fun to focus on that, than all the reasons why you shouldn’t make that video or call about the talk you want to give. I hope you laugh at the video. Laughter is such a great release and a way to raise your vibration. It’s FUN! PS. Click here to subscribe to my YouTube Channel if you found this helpful and...
Safety on Campus

Safety on Campus

The most important advice I can share about safety on campus is to stay AWAKE & AWARE. So many students have a laid-back attitude about safety until something happens on campus. And students get into trouble when they become complacent and comfortable. Parents with kids leaving for college: Please take the time to have the tough conversation with your kid before they attend school. The following safety on campus guidelines can reduce the chances of someone becoming a victim of sexual assault, theft, or another common campus crime. SELF PROTECTION VS. SELF-DEFENSE “Self-protection is what allows you to prevent, identify and avoid violence. Self-defense is what you do when this isn’t sufficient or enough - the situation you are in suddenly changes, your assailant has managed to disguise the actions and behaviors that they need to engage in before assaulting you etc.” (SEPS) CAMPUS SAFETY TIPS We’re polling on social media to create awareness for young people on college campuses. Want to see the results of those polls? Please join the conversation and participate on Facebook. One of the best self-defense tips is contained in the acronym GFTG. What does GFTG stand for? If you feel unsafe walking through a dark parking lot at night, what is the first thing you should do? What should you do if an assailant grabs your hair? Which of the following is one of the most vulnerable places on the body? What’s the best defense if someone grabs you from...
Be Aware Of Your Surroundings

Be Aware Of Your Surroundings

Tips for Your College Student to be Aware of Their Surroundings Parents, your college or high school student is probably looking down at her smartphone most of the time (if not all of the time). Which is fine, except she needs to look up, look around, and be aware of her surroundings - especially away at school. Before she goes away to school, whether it’s for the first time or returning, please share these tips with your student to keep her safe. Look behind you. Look to the side, both ways. Look in front of you. Are there people around you? Did it suddenly go quiet? And if so, why? If you get a funny feeling in your gut, get up and move away from where you are. Trust your gut. Trust your intuition. If you are walking, put your phone down and look where you are going. Nothing is that important. If a reply is something that must happen immediately, then stop walking and reply, or better yet, call the person old school, like we used to do. WALKING AROUND… 1. Get in the habit of noticing your surroundings. When you walk into a new environment, look around. Notice where the other exits are. Wake up. Look. Put your phone down, by your side and look around. 2. Walk with purpose. If you are lost, walk with purpose to find someone who can help you. Make it a habit to look up from your phone, tablet or computer often. This takes practice, but it’s important. Your safety is more important than any social media happening, text message, or...
Space, Wiggle Room and a Little Bit of Love

Space, Wiggle Room and a Little Bit of Love

I’d like to tell you a story, since that that’s how we learn the best. And most of us enjoy a good love story, right? I coach men about relationships. And I coach women as well about relationships, health and fitness. I’ve been a marathon runner, a personal trainer, and a workout nut for over 20 years. Clearly, I am a type A personality…in case you haven’t guessed. One of my clients, named Claire, came to work with me. She was burned out in her life. While she was succeeding in her career and in good physical shape, she was not satisfied or content. Her dating life was ok. She worked out several times a week, but just felt like she was on the treadmill of life. You know that hamster wheel feeling? The one where the little guy runs and runs on the wheel, but doesn’t get anywhere? Yeah, we’ve all been there. We had a session together, and we kept going deeper into what was really going on with her. After all, on the outside, she looked just “fine” according to most people. She was not satisfied, or “lit up” about her life. Whatever You Resists, Persists As both a coach and one in the transformational world for 19 years, I know that whatever you resist, persists. So at first, she did not want to go there. She kept saying she was fine. However, my job as a coach is to get into what’s going on underneath that fine exterior. This is the juicy part of my job. After doing some work, Claire realized that she was...